The Condition of Men, or, The Return of the Imam

My host father came back last night from Paris, and I must say that as soon as he stepped through the door, the dynamic changed. He obviously instills a mix of fear and respect in his children because everyone was rather quiet and reserved last night. As for the Iman himself, he certainly knows he is the ultimate authority; after dinner he turned to Erica and said, with no introduction or attempt at graciousness: “Donne-moi de l’eau. J’ai soif” (Go get me some water- I’m thirsty). Now, I don’t want you to get the impression that the Imam is a rude or unkind person, he is just used to that kind of service, not only because of his leadership position within the community, but also by virtue of the fact that he is older than us. There is a fairly rigid hierarchy of age here in Senegal; elders can ask/tell young people to do something and they do it without delay or question.

Anyway, while reflecting upon that scene, it occurred to me that perhaps the reason the Imam changed the atmosphere so much is because he doesn’t really belong. It seems contradictory, but I will try to explain. Men with multiple wives in Senegal have to follow strict rules about how to treat their families: they must treat all of their wives and children equally, giving them the same amount of money and staying at each wife’s house equal amounts of time. In practice that means the Iman must uproot and resituate himself every two days. I noticed this morning that he uses the common bathroom instead of the one in Maman’s room, which apparently is reserved exclusively for her. He also spends more time in my brother Tahirou’s room than in my mother’s room. To me, it seems a lot like moving from hotel to hotel, or living out of a suitcase, and I know I would be thoroughly discontent if I lived like that. In retrospect, I guess the change in atmosphere was a formality born more out of reverence for and deference to a practiced religious figure than a father. I haven’t had a chance to ask my siblings how they feel about Papa, but I doubt they feel the same way I do about my daddy (Love you Dad!)

So perhaps polygamy isn’t as great as most men imagine it to be…